The Greatest Team We’ve Never Heard Of?

One day after writing about Manchester United’s embarrassing loss to Coventry, another story of embarrassment has made its way to the headlines. The United States Women’s National Team suffered a humiliating defeat to Brazil, ending their World Cup hopes once again. I do not know much about women’s soccer, but from what I’ve heard, Brazil is a very one-dimensional team led by a superstar named Marta. The United States were expected to win based on depth, experience, and fitness. Obviously this didn’t quite happen.

Over the past month or so, Nike has been aggressively shoving the U.S. women down our throats, with the advertising slogan of “The Greatest Team You’ve Never Heard Of”. I even tuned in to watch some of the early round games, specifically the 2-2 draw with North Korea and the 2-0 win over Sweden. The Americans’ play in those two games wasn’t particularly eye-opening, and they didn’t seem to be very dominant at all. I still remember the World Cup team from 1999, which was anchored by the likes of Michelle Akers, Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain, and Kristine Lilly. Of those four, only Lilly remains, and she has seemed like the only true athlete on the current team. Brianna Scurry is still here too, but her role has been extremely limited, with the notable exception of this recent 4-0 shrubbing at the hands of Brazil.

This year’s team came across as very confident, too confident in my opinion. They really seemed full of themselves, and many members of the team went so far as to claim that they were even better than the 1999 team. Maybe they are more talented, but they certainly lack the teamwork and attitude that propelled their predecessors to championships. Perhaps now that the Women’s National Team is expected to win, they go into tournaments with a systematic approach of “we’re just better than everyone else”. Even though the 1999 team was very skilled and expected to achieve positive results, they still held a bit of an underdog status since nobody before them had achieved very much.

The general vibe going into this World Cup was essentially this: “Nobody likes us because we don’t have Mia Hamm anymore, and that’s unfair because our team is even better than we were before”. Well, maybe a championship would’ve justified that claim, but something seemed horribly wrong with the team from the get-go. It started with head coach Greg Ryan putting the team in half-ass mode by stating that “our goal is to reach the semifinals” (source). So congratulations Greg, you’ve achieved your goal. Why doesn’t it seem like anyone is satisfied?

Even worse, goalkeeper Hope Solo has recently decided to open up the blame game by criticizing Ryan’s decision to go with veteran Brianna Scurry for the Brazil match (source). Really Hope? You could’ve singlehandedly led your team to victory? You would’ve made all four of those saves that Scurry failed to make? Yeah, and I bet you would’ve scored the goal to give the U.S. a 1-0 victory, too.

Don’t expect this team to be remembered for anything at all. Everything that was good about women’s soccer in the late 90’s and early 2000’s is just gone, maybe to never return. With all this bickering, blaming, and blundering, the members of the 2007 U.S. Women’s National Team have truly lived up to their name; they are and will always be the greatest team we’ve never heard of.

So I Know the Carling Cup Isn’t THAT Big a Deal…

But COME ON!!! How can United even live with themselves after a such horrid performance against Coventry City?? Anytime a solid Premiership squad falls to a second-tier team it’s an upset, but here we’re talking about Man United! Next thing you know, we’ll be talking about them facing a relegation battle (ha).

In fact, forget about calling it a horrid performance. Instead, give all the credit to Coventry, who were clearly the only squad who came to Old Trafford to play some football. Even the the other “big clubs” have a lot of trouble giving United a good battle on their home ground. Seriously, the fact that the Reds lost on their home pitch makes the story ten times as surprising.

I know that Sir Alex sent out a younger, more inexperienced squad, but the lineup still included Nani, Anderson, and John O’Shea. Name one player on Coventry who matches up to that level of talent. Manchester United’s B-Squad, and maybe even their C-Squad, is generally thought to be more than capable of easily defeating any of the clubs in the lower divisions. Today, Coventry proved that theory wrong. Make no mistake, United didn’t give the game away- it was taken from them.

It truly does seem like the gap between the Big Four and all the other clubs in England is slowly staring to shorten. Perhaps this is just an off-year, but I’m not convinced that Chelsea, United, and Liverpool are just “going through a phase” of bad performances. Mourinho certainly didn’t deserve to be fired, and it is a CRIME that Martin Jol from Spurs wasn’t the first manager to get the sack this year (remember at the beginning of the year when Tottenham were considered to be a serious darkhorse contender for the Premiership title? Yeah, me neither). One could argue that the quality of play in the Prem has been subpar this year, but we’ll see how the rest of the season plays out. Who knows, maybe Chelsea and United will find their form sometime soon?

Chelsea Dagger

After an extremely poor showing against Manchester United this past Saturday, Jose Mourinho’s successor is already under fire and in danger of imminent unemployment. Granted that Grant’s position as manager is widely known as having little more than an interim tag, I’m not entirely convinced that he’ll have a job at all in the upcoming weeks. Abramovich will likely remove him from the coaching staff entirely once the seats are warm enough to bring in Guus Hiddink or Marco van Basten.

Though Chelsea have had a great deal of success over the past three years, they haven’t exactly accomplished their feats with much style or flair. In football, the method of victory is often held to be more important than victory itself, as is evident from the extreme popularity of the flashy but often lazy Brazilian National Team. The Italian game is often criticized for being too tactical and methodical, but look at the success it brought during the previous World Cup. Soccer in the United States often suffers from the same criticism, as American players are usually in top physical condition but unable to execute the creativity and finishing ability that the elite teams are able to offer in short bursts.

Mourinho’s system is generally labeled under this defense-first tag as well, but in all likelihood he found a good middle ground. Though Chelsea’s defense has always been the strong point of their game, teams need to score goals to win games, and Chelsea have won games. Throwing an aging Andriy Shevchenko into the attack isn’t going to magically add unnecessary flair to their game. The fact of the matter is that Mourinho had the team playing under a system that worked well for three years. The team got off to a slow start this year, but blaming him for the struggles is not the answer. This search for a new manager is going to yield a second-rate successor, because the best man for the job is still Jose Mourinho.

Galaxy Destroyed by Chivas USA

Many Galaxy fans are going to claim that their team was in the game until the last five minutes, but did you honestly think they were gonna pull it off? Has this team shown any signs of being able to fight through adversity or show resolve and fortitude during tough games? Have they demonstrated a positive, winning attitude during any portion of this season? Did you think Pavon and Gordon were going to suddenly learn how to run during the final 10 minutes?

The Galaxy didn’t start attacking until there were about three minutes remaining in the game. In the first half, they managed to strike an amazing ZERO shots on target, indicative of their pathetic prowess in the midfield and general inability to move the ball around the pitch with any confidence whatsoever. Meanwhile, Frank Yallop sits around on the bench looking like a depressed adolescent and continually states what his team needs to do better in order have success. The problem is, he’s doing a really shitty job of teaching his players how to do what he supposedly encourages them to do (which is retain possession of the ball and get it into areas where an attack can be generated. What a pearl of wisdom!).

Pavon refused to shake hands with the Galaxy coaching staff when he was subbed off in the middle of the second half. Once again, he was totally invisible; I honestly don’t think he had a SINGLE touch of the ball… not ONE! Someone please correct me if I’m wrong with that claim, but I’ll probably need video evidence to be totally convinced. Gordon was just as ineffective, though he did have a few chances and was on the ball every once in awhile. Just please stop calling him “Flash”, because he’s the third slowest player on the Galaxy. Pavon is the slowest and Buddle is the second-slowest. Keep in mind that those are the three strikers on the team.

Quite honestly, I hate Chivas USA and everything the club stands for, and I will never look at them as more than obnoxious tenants who rent out the Home Depot Center from the Galaxy on occasion. But today I’ll admit that they took it to the Galaxy and proved that they are a vastly superior team at the moment. They still have terrible fans who display Mexican flags (if you’re doing that while living in the United States, you’re swearing allegiance to the wrong country) and throw flares and smoke bombs on the pitch, but the team itself is definitely much more respectable than the Galaxy at the moment. So for now, nine more games until this horrid season comes to a close.

Preview: USA vs. Brazil

It’s been dubbed an International Friendly, and everyone knows that means one thing: the match will end in a 1-1 draw. Although this does have the potential to be a one-sided affair in favor of Brazil, I doubt that it will be, and most who know the game would likely agree with me. Brazil is the superior team, without a doubt, but it has been a long time since a full-strength U.S. Men’s National team has been embarrassed or totally out-played (with the notable exception of the game against the Czechs in the World Cup). The fact of the matter is that the U.S. are capable of giving everyone a good fight, including the Brazilians.

Expecting a victory from the Yanks is a bit of a stretch, but a draw is certainly within reach. If the U.S. come out strong and are able to move the ball through the midfield and stretch the Brazilian defense, a win isn’t totally out of the question. Forget the whole “win the midfield battle” theory; the Americans need to get the ball past the midfield and force Brazil to win back possession in their own end. If they’re able to do that, the Brazilian midfielders will be running around a lot more than they want to, which could play to the favor of the Americans.

One area the U.S. still needs tremendous work on is finishing their chances. Eddie Johnson isn’t the answer. We simply do not have anything close to a world-class striker at the moment, and it’s tough to get results if you can’t find the back of the net. The games the U.S. lose are often very frustrating due to this fact, as we’re rarely dominated in possession or chances nowadays.

Both teams are going to be pretty close to full-strength. Let’s all hope that the managers keep their best players on the pitch for the entire game, and let’s also hope that both teams decide to continue attacking should the game be 1-1 at the 70th minute. The most boring play in football often occurs during the last 20 minutes of an international friendly with a tied score.

Bob Bradley will be looking to rebound after a poor showing from the young guns at Copa America. The United States have already shown that they can keep up with the best teams and give them a run for their money. The next step is obviously proving that they can get results and start playing better than the powerhouses. They still lack the creativity and skill of the Brazilian team, but their strength, conditioning, and resiliency may be just enough to get a good result if a little luck goes in their favor.

England Looking Even More Vulnerable: Hargreaves Questionable

The picture to your right is a pretty good metaphorical illustration of what’s going on in the English camp right now. Hargreaves is frustrated, while thousands of supporters lie face-down on the pitch. Quite honestly, this last bit of news is the last thing that any fans of England need to hear. Becks and Lamps are both out, Gerrard will play but will probably damage himself in the process, and Hargreaves will be less than 70% if he decides to grind it out.

Hargreaves had a scan last night to see just how bad his thigh has been injured (source), and Sky Sports reported that the results have left the training staff more worried than they were before. Granted that even a third-team backup squad should (theoretically) have little problem handling the Israel team, a matchup with Russia looms in the distance just four days later. And anyone who has seen England play recently should know that they’re more than capable of screwing both games up.

So the answer to the question that everyone has been daring to ask recently is this: yes. There is a significant chance that England will not qualify for Euro 2008 (tear tear). Croatia and Russia are holding the upper hand right now, and it’s a pretty decisive upper hand. Basically, Russia are holding pocket Kings while England have a 10-9 off-suit. This weekend, we’ll see The Flop. Get it? ha ha harrr(grieves).

All hope is not lost, however. England still have a straight draw (last poker reference), and could pull back into contention if they win the next two games. How they’re going to do that is beyond me, and it’s starting to look like it’s beyond Steve McClaren as well. Since rumors about managers on the verge of losing their jobs seems to be the latest trend, expect McClaren to be next in line if England do poorly over the next week.

Mourinho on the Hot Seat?

The latest random rumor to pop up on websites, phone-ins, and (gulp) blogs is that Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho is currently fighting to keep his job. Whether this theory holds any water or not is beyond me, and I’m not going to pretend to have any secret contacts or know any insider information. Visit Eklund on hockeybuzz.com or listen to Fox Football Phone-In if you want to hear fabricated stories.

One thing I do know for sure, Chelsea officials have stated that Roman Abramovich visited the team in the locker room after their loss (source). This is what I heard yesterday on Radio 606 as well; they reported that Abramovich himself stated that he visited the Chelsea locker room after the game. Now today there are a billion reports hyping up the story that Abramovich supposedly dashed out of Villa Park in disgust, a sign that relationships between him and Mourinho are strained yet again.

Last time we had a report of coaching tensions, Fox Soccer reported that the Galaxy’s Frank Yallop had been sacked and was going to be replaced by Jurgen Klinsmann. A day later, Yallop coached the Galaxy in their SuperLiga loss to Mexico’s Pikachu. Three days after that, Yallop led his team to an embarrassing 2-1 choke against Fake Salt Lake. He’s still in charge of the team as you read this, and there are no signs that he’ll be replaced any time soon. All the buzz has died.

The same thing will happen with Chelsea’s Mourinho. Without a doubt, Abramovich and all Chelsea fans are displeased with yesterdays result and will be feeling frustrated and concerned over the next few days. When play resumes after the international break, expect Chelsea to regain their form against Blackburn. If Lampard is back, the match against a struggling Man United should be closely contested. After that, matches with Middlesbrough, Fullham, and Bolton should go the Blues’ way. If Chelsea end up losing or drawing 3 of the next 5, then there will be legitimate cause for concern.

Meanwhile, Chelsea are still tied at the top of the tables, though Arsenal and Liverpool each have a game-in-hand. For all intensive purposes, Chelsea are currently 3 points off the pace. They did not look good without Lampard in there yesterday, but they have enough talent to pick up the slack. Drogba looked like the Drogba of two years ago, with an awful lot of whining and flopping around. He had little support, as Lampard had usually been the player making runs behind Drogba to provide him with a fall-back option. Wright-Phillips kept to the wings for most of the game, and Malouda has been unimpressive so far this season.

Mourinho will be given a few weeks to sort all of these problems out. He won’t be fired anytime before November, regardless of Chelsea’s performances. He is simply too good of a manager to be let go of so quickly… and honestly, who would he be replaced with? Is there really any better option right now?